The Power of an "I" Statement

Dec 2

We all experience moments when we feel stuck, overwhelmed, or resistant to action.

These feelings of resistance often arise when we face tasks that seem too daunting or when we fall into negative thought patterns that create barriers to progress.

However, the key to overcoming this resistance isn’t through harsh self-criticism, but by adopting a nonjudgmental stance—validating our feelings and using language that encourages compassion and clarity.

One powerful tool for expressing and overcoming resistance is the use of I statements. These statements allow us to express our emotions and needs without blaming ourselves or others. By taking responsibility for our own feelings, we can reduce judgmental thinking and address the problem more constructively.

I statements are a simple yet effective way to express our emotions and desires while maintaining responsibility for our feelings. By focusing on our own experience rather than blaming external factors, we create space for understanding and change.

To use I statements effectively, follow these steps:

Identify the emotion: For example, “I feel frustrated.”
Explain the situation: “I feel frustrated because I’ve been avoiding my tasks.”
Express a positive need: “I want to break down my tasks into smaller steps so I can tackle them more easily.”

Using I statements helps you avoid self-blame and sets the stage for constructive action.

The key is that you aren’t writing an “I am” statement. Instead of saying “I am frustrated”, you say “I feel frustrated”. It goes from saying something is part of who you are, to saying that something is just an experience you’re having and isn’t a permanent part of you.

Adopting a nonjudgmental stance and using I statements can significantly change how you approach resistance. Instead of seeing it as a roadblock, view it as an opportunity to understand your emotions and take compassionate action. With this mindset, you not only break down the walls of resistance but also build self-compassion, confidence, and momentum toward achieving your goals.

RelationEmotionsCommunicationMarriage

Jacob Frazier

Jacob Frazier, LMHC, MA, NCC, is a mental health counselor with Archangel Catholic.

Jacob holds a master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Gonzaga University. As a mental health counselor, Jacob has a passion for facilitating personal and interpersonal development, vocational/career discernment, and helping people apply their strengths and Catholic faith to the challenges of daily living.

Jacob has extensive clinical history of assessing and working with clients experiencing emotional dysregulation, depression, anxiety, struggling with relationships and commitment, facing addictions, and struggling with trauma.

Jacob is trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which he used on a treatment team that served individuals with moderate to severe diagnoses. Jacob is also trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) centered on posttraumatic stress related to abuse, neglect, and other traumatic life experiences. He also has an interest in helping men foster a healthy understanding of masculinity and assist in cultivating virtue.