Different Beliefs, Same Family: Catholic Approach to Political and Ideological Differences

Oct 19

A Problem for Our Times

Ideological divides within families can be distressing and can lead to disconnection. Contempt for others' viewpoints, avoidance and disengagement, and shorter gatherings may sound familiar, and the hardest moments usually come up around politics or religion. Pew Research Center found that 65% of Americans always or often feel exhausted when thinking about politics [1]. So what is really being argued over, and how can we talk about ideological differences productively?

Defining ideology, and when it goes too far

The term ideology comes from the French idéologie ("science of ideas"), coined in 1796 by the French Enlightenment philosopher Antoine Destutt de Tracy (1754–1836). Destutt de Tracy envisioned ideology as a kind of logic that would show people how to live better together in society, though thinking about how to order society goes back much further (e.g., Aristotle's Politics). Not all ideologies are harmful. Conservatism, for example, focuses on promoting and preserving traditional institutions and values. Liberalism focuses on constitutional rights, the participation of the governed, and the right to private property. Environmentalism focuses on conserving and improving the natural environment. Finding the right balance among such goods takes layers of prudential judgment and a hierarchy of values developed through experience and reflection, which is why conversations about them can be so complex. Problems often lie at the extremes of ideologies, however, which can unbalance a society or contradict the faith and its understanding of the human person [2].

For example, 20th-century Marxist ideology held that material power is the cornerstone of truth, and that class struggle and economic conflict define the path to salvation. Certain currents in modern gender movements hold that men and women can will themselves beyond their biological limits, and that self-determination is the source of identity and of liberation from social roles. One problem with Marxist ideology is that it ignores the fact that truth is independent of worldly power, as Christ showed when he rejected power as one of the temptations in the desert. One problem with the gender movements is that self-will is not the ultimate authority, and anthropology shows the significance of biological sex [3].

This points to a mark of harmful ideologies: an ideology becomes harmful when it makes one facet of reality the cornerstone of human life and salvation apart from Christ, demands that reality bend to fit it, ignores or rejects contrary evidence and criticism, and ultimately alienates people from themselves. As Fulton Sheen put it in 1947, "The only difference between the three forms of totalitarianism being that Nazism absorbed the person in the race, Fascism in the State, and Communism in the class" [4]. Each of these ideologies absorbs the individual into a system that strips away their real dignity, treating that sacrifice as serving humanity's ultimate destiny. The Church has said much more about the specific errors of major ideologies, but here I will focus on responding to harmful ideologies held by loved ones.

The Catholic View

Catholics hold to realism: there is an objective reality to be known, and truth is not simply whatever an individual, party, or state declares. The world has an intelligible order grounded in God, who is good, and human beings can know at least some truths about it, though imperfectly. The Church and faithful Catholics have written a great deal about rightly ordering individual and social life toward God (e.g., the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church, and Butler's Lives of the Saints). If you are concerned about an ideological error that someone may be making, it can help to read Catholic commentary on that specific error and on the nature of the good and the true.

When does addressing an issue matter?

Research shows that early ideological leanings can appear in children as young as age 4 and can solidify alongside in-group preferences between ages 6 and 11, shaped by parents or caregivers [5, 6]. However, younger children typically have not yet developed the capacity for abstract thought. Adolescents (ages 12–18) typically engage more seriously with ideological reasoning, identity, and socialization because of the brain development that happens at that stage.

Addressing the issues

For parents of younger children, I found these articles on getting ahead of the risk of harmful ideas influencing kids helpful [7, 8].

For teenagers and adults struggling with a harmful ideology, the way the saints responded to the harmful ideas of their own times can be an inspiration.

In On Instructing the Unlearned, Saint Augustine gives this advice:

Start by listening to the person for what they have read and understood, including both their good points and their errors. You might even commend their good points or the truths they recognize.
Guide the person from their errors toward a fuller vision of the truth, showing how that truth fits with other truths. Use plain language and examples, and adapt your explanation to the person's education, circumstances, temperament, and character.
Keep the listener's dignity and comfort in view. If the talk runs long, consider whether they would benefit from a seat or a drink. If someone becomes tired or inattentive, try telling a story or changing the pace. Remember the worth of the person you are teaching, and teach with warmth and love.
With those who are slow or resistant, a brief explanation is sometimes best. If they are unwilling to engage, he says, praying for them may help more.

Part of this is avoiding contempt for the other person, which research shows damages relationships. My colleague, Jacob Frazier, LMHC, wrote an article on loving our enemies describes well how curiosity and charity in conversation honor human dignity [9].

Saint Benedict offers another example: he lived his faith by example. Rather than only condemning the disorder around him, he withdrew from distraction, gathered people into a different way of ordering life, and built a community devoted to prayer, work, learning, and mutual service.

If you resonate with family strife or difference in ideologies, Archangel Catholic offers couple and family counseling to support families facing estrangement, caregiver burnout, or emotional disconnection.

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